You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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