the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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