Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
