y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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