Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
