It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My vagina is very pro this idea
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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