I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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