I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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