I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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