It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
