He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
