the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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