You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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