I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
