Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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