wat bout pragnant strippers??
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
