Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
