I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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