I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
