wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
