So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
