i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
