i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
