i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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