I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
