So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We are two peas in an std pod
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
