So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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