there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
