we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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