That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
