So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
