I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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