Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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