You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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