Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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