just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
