Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
