Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
