Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
