he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
