Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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