maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
