just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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