how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
