Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
