Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
