Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
