i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
