Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
