You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
